In other news
Oct. 30th, 2009 12:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
firefly124My classmates are insane.
The grade range on this last exam was from 50-90 with a record high number of failures. I've been approached multiple times through the week with people asking for study tips, and I haven't had anything approaching an answer. Because they're all already doing what I (used to) do, such as using the online or CD-ROM quizzes that come with the textbooks, doing practice tests out of NCLEX books, and the like. The only thing left, which is what I finally have just started saying is, "Step away from the bloody PowerPoints. Don't print them and definitely don't use them as a note-taking crutch. Just download them and refer to them to fill in any gaps, but take your lecture notes as if they didn't exist." Because seriously? That's the only thing I do that's any different than anybody else. And frankly, this last exam pulled more from my experience as a patient care tech on a surgical/ortho floor, years past though that may be, than on anything I got out of lecture.
This complete lack of ability to help anybody pulll it together (barring the one who reallyreally isn't getting any more help out of me after MultiFailDay a couple of weeks ago) hit me way harder than I was expecting. Apparently "tutor" is an even more integral part of my identity and self-esteem than I'd realized, because after having several of these conversations yesterday, I found myself bawling my eyes out, first in the bathroom, and then when I went home on our lunch break. (I'd forgotten some paperwork I needed for after the afternoon lecture, so I went home to fetch it. And then did everything *but* fetch it. *facepalm*) That actually isn't the crazy part yet.
The crazy part is that we also had a "peer recognition award nomination" thing, and for some insane reason, they nominated me. Um, what? The people I nominated make way more sense: the class president really does have great leadership skills and uses them well to organize the class, classmate L is a vocal patient advocate in clinical, and classmate P frequently shares news articles and current events that relate to what we're studying in the discussion area on Blackboard with commentary that really helps tie theory to reality. Any one of them would make oodles more sense than "person who gets good grades without half studying and is no help to people who are honestly trying and are asking for help."
This isn't to say I'm not grateful. Depending on what happens next in this process, I'm potentially eligible for a scholarship of some kind, which would be awesome. So I'm hugely grateful to even be in the running. But I still want some of whatever the rest of them are smoking, because clearly, it's damned good.
The grade range on this last exam was from 50-90 with a record high number of failures. I've been approached multiple times through the week with people asking for study tips, and I haven't had anything approaching an answer. Because they're all already doing what I (used to) do, such as using the online or CD-ROM quizzes that come with the textbooks, doing practice tests out of NCLEX books, and the like. The only thing left, which is what I finally have just started saying is, "Step away from the bloody PowerPoints. Don't print them and definitely don't use them as a note-taking crutch. Just download them and refer to them to fill in any gaps, but take your lecture notes as if they didn't exist." Because seriously? That's the only thing I do that's any different than anybody else. And frankly, this last exam pulled more from my experience as a patient care tech on a surgical/ortho floor, years past though that may be, than on anything I got out of lecture.
This complete lack of ability to help anybody pulll it together (barring the one who reallyreally isn't getting any more help out of me after MultiFailDay a couple of weeks ago) hit me way harder than I was expecting. Apparently "tutor" is an even more integral part of my identity and self-esteem than I'd realized, because after having several of these conversations yesterday, I found myself bawling my eyes out, first in the bathroom, and then when I went home on our lunch break. (I'd forgotten some paperwork I needed for after the afternoon lecture, so I went home to fetch it. And then did everything *but* fetch it. *facepalm*) That actually isn't the crazy part yet.
The crazy part is that we also had a "peer recognition award nomination" thing, and for some insane reason, they nominated me. Um, what? The people I nominated make way more sense: the class president really does have great leadership skills and uses them well to organize the class, classmate L is a vocal patient advocate in clinical, and classmate P frequently shares news articles and current events that relate to what we're studying in the discussion area on Blackboard with commentary that really helps tie theory to reality. Any one of them would make oodles more sense than "person who gets good grades without half studying and is no help to people who are honestly trying and are asking for help."
This isn't to say I'm not grateful. Depending on what happens next in this process, I'm potentially eligible for a scholarship of some kind, which would be awesome. So I'm hugely grateful to even be in the running. But I still want some of whatever the rest of them are smoking, because clearly, it's damned good.
