1. Badmouth the former coworker who sold me the last one. I don't care if you think he sucked. He actually did well by me, and in any case, that was hugely unprofessional.

2. Explain that he was fired for "not having enough drive to be in sales." You've just announced you plan to put the screws to me. Thanks for the warning.

3. Spend all your selling time not telling me how good the car you're trying to sell is, but telling me how bad the other options I'm considering are, and how foolish I am for even entertaining them.

4. Engage in a completely juvenile pissing contest with the IT guy over how to get the sales software to work. Admittedly, this one is as much or more on the IT guy.

5. Encourage the rest of the sales team to gang up on me back you up on how stupid I would have to be to consider any other option than the miraculous deal you have cooked up for me.

There are a number of ways I could have been convinced that buying a lowish mileage used car with a reasonable monthly payment was a better option than the higher mileage buy-outright car I'd tested earlier and elsewhere. Instead, you reminded me that, so far as I'm concerned, buying any car, especially used, is more expense than investment, and you pushed me in the direction of trying to squeeze another year out of the crappy car that just STB on me. In any case, I definitely won't be buying from you, Mr. Unprofessional.